Today’s Homemaker

Finding my voice out here in the blog world has been a difficult thing. A really, really difficult thing. I’ve had a lot of success with this blog over the past year, and I’ve both delighted in it and despised it at different times.

Delighted because I get to write, which is truly what I love to do and will be doing forever and ever. Despised because at times, I feel like such a hypocrite. Who am I to write about homemaking when my own time is filled up with so many other things that I enjoy so much more?

When I first started this blog, I did love my home and aspired to share with you my journey from the bottom up. But then I got bitten by the bug that is “the business.” More recently, I’ve been bitten by the homeschooling bug. So my house is not exactly the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning.

I finally realized that my home comes in about number 50 on the “Things I think about when I get up in the morning” list. More importantly, it comes in about the same on the “Things I WANT to think about when I get up in the morning” list. So what do I do?

I’ve been praying about it ever since the day after I posted about the second carnival I was planning (and by the way, the winners should be receiving their prize packages in about two weeks.) For the first time I was struck by the thought, “My home isn’t a meaningful subject for me anymore.” At first, it startled me. I didn’t want to think it at all. And then I realized that it has been in the back of my mind for so long, and I just refused to acknowledge it.

After all, I finally have YOU to write for! What more could I want? It took me a year to build this blog up to what it is now, and it is so incredibly difficult to consider parting from it. I have been getting exciting opportunities thrown my way lately, and I’ve made a handful of very good friends. Every day, more than 500 people stop by just to read what I have to say. I am so honored and floored by all of the support. How could I possibly stop this ride?

But friends, I am. I really really am. I know it may come as a shock, and if you’ve read this far, then I am so grateful that you let me get all of that out without screaming, “Get to the POINT already!”

I KNOW I’ve barely even begun with all of the projects and plans I’ve had. I know there is so much more to be said about the home, so much more inspiration I could draw from and send your way. But I am not the one to say it. Whew. I cannot even believe that I am saying that.

But.

(There is always a “But.”)

I still must write. There is no denying that. So I have been brainstorming what to do. There has always been this tiny voice inside of me that has wanted to write fiction. In fact, I often write about characters and stories in the quiet corner of my bedroom after everyone is asleep. Places, people, and events that I have yet to show to a single soul. And now I’m going to share them with you.

It is such a scary thing to do — it takes a level of vulnerability that I’m not quite comfortable with yet. But I have recently decided to stop pouring myself into so many different vessels. I need to choose one outlet for my writing, and it needs to be something I can put my heart and soul into. And I think (I hope!) this is it. I hope you’ll come visit Mary Lee Owens, a character who is not much like me, but who I adore nonetheless. And I hope you’ll keep in touch with me. You can now contact me at sarahjbray AT gmail DOT com.

In case you’re wondering, I am not going to be blogging for our web design studio anymore (still designing of course…just not blogging about it.) I am also not going to be blogging on the local restaurant blog that I began. Mary Lee Owens is now the sole beneficiary of my writing attention, and I think it will be that much better for it.

Farewell, and hello!
Sarah Bray